Making a Bacon Lamp Shade, or, The Creepiest Birthday Gift Ever

So it all started about 4 months ago when @lonelysandwich made a jovial post to twitter challenging us all to come up with the designate of our Lifetime Movie. I think I was sitting at the Spanish Moon, my favorite Baton Rouge bar, when I got this tweet, and I was directly struck by inspiration and compelled to respond with my silver screen title: He Ate Bacon in the Dark: The Kris Kelley Feature. This lead to a heated, drunken discussion with my friends Rosi and Christy about, well, bacon. I can’t go into the details of the depict that was hatched that fateful evening, but I can begin to show you the fruits of the labor that Mr. Sandwich unwittingly began.

What started out as a off one's chump idea became The Creepiest Birthday Gift Ever. Outlined below are the steps needed to earn your own bacon lampshade. This process is not entirely perfected, and may effect rotting and a house filled with bacon odour, so if you have any suggestions for preserving food with some sort of lacquer please let me remember. And if you do this and are burned by hot grease or piss off the people you last with due to the smell of putrid bacon, it is NOT MY FAULT.

Materials:

3 pounds of bacon - I was clever to find 2 pounds of bacon for 5 bucks at Wal-Mart. I actually only used 2 pounds in the final version, but my first go kill apart so I had to start over.

1 lamp shade - It’s important to get a lamp shade that has a wire top and loathsome because you have to rip the shade part off of it and use the wire top and bottom for your frame.

Small Gauge Wire - I familiar copper, but any metal wire should work.

Polycrylic Bedspread - used the glossy finish, but you could use a satin put an end to as well.

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Woman, 87, killed when East San Jose house explodes San Jose Mercury News - Mar 06, 2010 KCBSWoman, 87, killed when East San Jose bawdy-house explodesSan Jose Mercury NewsAt about 6:40 pm, the bang rocked the house, shattering the windows and strewing glass —and even a lamp shade — across the roadway. San Jose House Explosion Kills One1 dead, 1 injured in East San Jose fireall 82 hearsay articles » Daffodils, Lilies, and Pansies Bloom Maine Antique Digest - Mar 08, 2010 Maine Pass DigestDaffodils, Lilies, and Pansies BloomMaine Antique DigestThe shade was made of dichroic glass, which has the faculty to transmit light of one color and reflect an entirely odd color. St. Peters' Glasslight Studio transforms glass into art Pottstown Mercury - Feb 21, 2010 St. Peters' Glasslight Studio transforms glass into artPottstown MercuryThe upshot: a beautiful, fluid, multicolored lampshade. Working together, the craftsmen transfer the glass and place it in what's called an annealing oven to and more » The Poulpe Lamp Dexigner - Mar 09, 2010 DexignerThe Poulpe LampDexignerInspired by how octopuses wrap around their outsmart, the Poulpe lamp delicately and subtly envelops the light. From the cone-shaped shade, Nicholas Auctions Antiques and Arts Weekly - Mar 10, 2010 Nicholas AuctionsAntiques and Arts Weekly alabaster food lamp; slag glass shade lamp marked EM & Co; hanging lights; over 60 register & Masonic pins & buttons; circus memorabilia from 50s & 60s;

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