Making a Bacon Lamp Shade, or, The Creepiest Birthday Gift Ever

So it all started about 4 months ago when @lonelysandwich made a jovial post to twitter challenging us all to come up with the designate of our Lifetime Movie. I think I was sitting at the Spanish Moon, my favorite Baton Rouge bar, when I got this tweet, and I was directly struck by inspiration and compelled to respond with my silver screen title: He Ate Bacon in the Dark: The Kris Kelley Feature. This lead to a heated, drunken discussion with my friends Rosi and Christy about, well, bacon. I can’t go into the details of the depict that was hatched that fateful evening, but I can begin to show you the fruits of the labor that Mr. Sandwich unwittingly began.

What started out as a off one's chump idea became The Creepiest Birthday Gift Ever. Outlined below are the steps needed to earn your own bacon lampshade. This process is not entirely perfected, and may effect rotting and a house filled with bacon odour, so if you have any suggestions for preserving food with some sort of lacquer please let me remember. And if you do this and are burned by hot grease or piss off the people you last with due to the smell of putrid bacon, it is NOT MY FAULT.

Materials:

3 pounds of bacon - I was clever to find 2 pounds of bacon for 5 bucks at Wal-Mart. I actually only used 2 pounds in the final version, but my first go kill apart so I had to start over.

1 lamp shade - It’s important to get a lamp shade that has a wire top and loathsome because you have to rip the shade part off of it and use the wire top and bottom for your frame.

Small Gauge Wire - I familiar copper, but any metal wire should work.

Polycrylic Bedspread - used the glossy finish, but you could use a satin put an end to as well.

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